Begin your writing here…
It's scary because it looks like old trees and old creams. I can see dirty water and dead trees. The grass is fine. I can see no people on the bridge. The place is very old and it's not very good. It's dirty. It looked so quiet no one's there already because it's a very dirty old bridge.
Hi Lavanda!
ReplyDeleteI like the picture you have chosen to base your story off of. This sentence is my favourite "I can see dirty water and dead trees" because you're telling the reader what you can see. Next time, you could use more descriptive words. Overall, really good piece of writing!
Kia Ora Lavanda, I enjoyed reading your draft and all the adjectives you've added to your story. I think it is best if you can edit the "begin your writing here" to make it less distracting. So far, I think your writing is very creative and the way how you described how dirty the setting was. Ka pai, Lavanda.
ReplyDelete